The Boudoir of Wasps

Figs and wasps have a symbiotic relationship with figs only being able to be pollinated by wasps and wasps only able to mate in figs.  It has been too long for a Tim Top Fact.  Although having never seen figs growing natively in the UK whilst being stung by many a wasp, I doubt the validity of my statement.  Still next time you eat a fig remember it is just a place for wasps to make sweet love. 

Brønshøj are wasps and not bees (a mistake I have made thus far).  I never really saw the point of wasps.  Annoying little buggers that serve no (non-fig related) purpose apart from ruining what would otherwise be a good picnic.  The best thing ever to come out of France though is the 2l coke bottle cut in two with top part (where the lid would be if you had not removed it for these purposes) turned creating a funnel into the base of the bottle where you leave a few centimeters of coke.  Mega wasp trap.  Cheers, France.

Some photos (I was not having a great day with the camera)

The Stadium

Frem have got us all going again thanks to that last minute winner a few short days ago and the onset of never ending light means that we can have a 19.00 midweek fixture without floodlights (although someone turned them on) at the delightfully rural, Tingbjerg Idrætspark.  It is a bugger to get to.  My little legs struggled to roll my 1980s Hungarian tractor of a bike out of Copenhagen and up what looked suspiciously like a hill.  But get there I did.  The stadium was nice.  It was located in a car park (in other words, there was a car park), but it was very pleasant.  I felt a little like I was watching football in a farmyard although the pleasantness was ruined by the pictures of wasps all over the shop.  They even have a wasp mascot, which is as about as aesthetically appealing as a grim reaper. 


Somewhat ironically someone in camouflage is blocking the view of the wasp.

The ground looks like it is relatively new. With a small stand along one side and bar area similar to something you would find at a theme park.  They even served test tubes of Gajol (which is Danish for sickly sweet, yet foul flavoured shot).  I did not partake.  A small standing area behind the far goal was occupied by Paulis Rødder so we headed off in that direction walking past the wasp nest of home support who looked like big, human shaped wasps.  Indeed there was a pretty good turnout all round.

Brønshøj’s season is in desperate danger of limping to a close.  Only one win in the last six now sees them five points adrift from the promotion spot and six away from today’s opponents, Frem.  Last time, these two met saw one of the most one-sided nil nils that I have ever witnessed (that was so close to being the most binary sentence I have ever written).  Frem did everything but put the ball in the back of the net.  A win tonight for Brønshøj could see them relight their hopes of promotion.  It is Frem’s job to poison the fig tree with a pesticide called goals (wtf am I writing?!).


DKK 5,000 (af)gift for pitch invaders?

Entrance an incredible DKK 80 (versus DKK 60-70 usually) and I had to pay for a programme (DKK 20).  Modern football.

The Game

Yeah.  It was one of those ones.  Neither team particularly dominated and there weren’t a great deal of chances.  Frem had a good one on one turned away by the goalkeeper after about 40 minutes, but that was more or less it until Frem’s goalkeeper (friendly giant, Simon Bloch Jorgenssen) pretended to be Leo Messi if Leo Messi had toblerone for feet.  Losing the ball at the feet of the oncoming attacker who bounced the ball into an empty net.  Grr. 

The second half was more Frem, but they never seemed to create any great chances and were reduced to shots from distance and half chances.  The microphone haired left back for Brønshøj, Oliver Fredsted, was excellent.  I would even go as far to say that he is the best player I have seen at this level.  What seemed like another goalkeeping error with a handful of minutes left handed Brønshøj a pretty undeserved victory.

It seems like they might be a bogey team having taken four points from the two games this year and probably only deserved one at best.  I am more bitter than Gamel Dansk.


An optimistic, we are number one gesture.  Unlucky boys.

What next?

A great set of results in the other games mean that Frem continue to sit in the all-important promotion spots but with seven teams (including Brønshøj) within five points.  This is going to be close and I see some final day drama in the horizon. A trip to Aarhus to play the local Fremad club is next up on Monday.  I cannot survive another trip to Jylland so this one will be followed online.  The narrative will be the same.  Win takes Frem closer and knocks out a rival.  Defeat makes it all a little messier.  Eating overripe figs is also messy.

Full first half (which was streamed live!).  Goal at about 43 minutes:


Next – Skonto SevCo Rap.


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